Call it a skirt, and ye'll feel the back of me hand!

What are ye starin' at, ye wee girl?! This be no skirt, this be a Utilikilt! Fashioned after the traditional garb of the Celtic warrior. Now of course ye know, William Wallace has ne'er worn a kilt - they weren't invented until Willie had been stone dead for nearly four-hundred years, but they're still all about freedom!

Made from a poly-cotton blend so it's durable and yet soft. It's got lots of pockets for your crap, so you can carry a cellphone, or screwdrivers, or a beer should the need arise. Big riveted snaps keep everything safe and secure, including your manhood.

Even geek demi-god Patrick Norton proudly wears his Utilikilt!

Now, PAY ATTENTION! Those pants you're wearing - odds are the waist size is a lie! If you're used to wearing size 34 jeans, it's likely you'll need a size 36 Utilikilt. Oi! You! I said PAY ATTENTION! Get out a tape measure and measure your waist with yer sissy-boy pants ON! See that number? That's the size you need. I don't want to be hearin' any of you crying to yer mum, "Oh, I bought the wrong size!" Man-up, ye precious thing and get it right the first time!