Meg Griffin: I want a new hat! Chris Griffin: I want a new hat! Stewie Griffin: I want them to have new hats! -- "Family Guy Viewer Mail #1"

Well, ask and ye shall receive, young Stewie Griffin. We, also, want everyone to have new hats. That's why we're offering these at this low, low price. Cheezie Charlie's was having a blowout (just 25,000 tickets per hat), and we're passing the savings on to you. We played innumerable games of Virtual Stuck Behind a Bus to get those tickets. Not the most entertaining way to spend time. But you're worth it.

This black, 6-panel hat made of 100% cotton with a print of Stewie and Crossbones on the front adjusts in the back with a metal buckle. Note: This hat is intentionally distressed. The brim is torn. The print is faded. Even if you order it today, it'll make it look like you've been wearing it since the first time Family Guy was canceled.